Helping Hand
by Catherine Willmon 2013
Summary: Alex has a secret. What happends when it's finally revealed? And will Bobby be able to help her through a rough time in her life? Please R&R!
1. Deep dark secrets

**Title: Helping Hand**

**Characters/Parings: Bobby/Alex; Logan/Barek; Ross/Wheeler; Falacci/Damian (her husband)**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them. Can't sue me. You know the deal.**

**Setting/Classification: AU, Drama, Friendship, Romance**

**Spoilers: Season 7**

**Summary: On the outside, Alexandra Eames is tough, resilient and don't take shit from anyone. On the inside, however, she's vulnerable, weak and is hiding painful secret. What happens when her secret comes out and can Bobby help her?**

**Author's note: Originally, this was supposed to be a one shot, but someone gave me a suggestion in my last fic **_**A Shoulder To Cry On. **_**I thought it was a great idea, so I decided to put that to good use. As I mentioned before, this was gonna be a one shot, but I decided to do a full fledge story because I haven't done on since **_**How To Deal**_.

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Major Case Squad**

**22****nd**** precinct**

**One Police Plaza**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 10, 2007**

Detective Alexandra Eames sat at her desk, staring at the blank computer screen and looking like a deer in the headlights. A faint sigh escaped her lips as she just sat there and thought about her life. A life filled with turmoil, shame, suffering and never-ending pain. She thought she would be able to be happy again, especially after finding out who killed her husband Joe, but finding out hurt her even more. Plus, her life hasn't been filled with lollipops and fairytales.

Running her fingers through her long blond hair, she thought about her childhood. Growing up as the daughter of a police officer, she knew what she wanted to do when she became an adult. She wanted to be like her father because she had looked up to him. However, her home life was anything but normal and average.

It was filled with pain.

Suffering.

And non stop abuse.

Which lead to her to do something that she kept a secret since her teenage years.

Something that even her partner and best friend doesn't even know.

And she plans to keep it that way.

She didn't want any sympathy or any pity. She didn't wanna be treated as an invalid or a victim. She just wanted to be treated the same just like everyone else.

Wiping a tear away from her eyes and sighing deeply, she got up from her desk and began gathering her things. Since no new cases were coming in, there's no sense for her staying here any longer. She could go home and fix her something to eat, then she'll unwind by reading a book or watching television before heading off to bed. She doesn't have any plans, anyway.

"Hey, Alex, where you're going?" Detective Carolyn Barek asked when she walked in holding a cup of coffee.

"Calling it a night. I'm tired and sleepy," Alex simply said.

"Don't go home yet, honey. A bunch of us are going to get drinks. You in?" Carolyn asked, smiling.

Alex smiled back, but she shook her head. "Can you take a rain check, sweetie? I'm tired and plus, I have to be back here tomorrow, anyway. I have court, remember?"

"That's right; you have to testify in the Johnson case," Carolyn said, remembering the case they worked on a couple of weeks ago.

"Yeah. I need my beauty sleep. So, how about this weekend? Everyone's on call," Alex suggested.

"Sounds good. Good night," Carolyn said as she walked towards her desk.

As Alex was leaving, Carolyn looked over her shoulder and noticed Alex's changing appearance. Something didn't look right with her. She doesn't eat as much as she used to and she has the tendency of going to the bathroom every 2 minutes. Furthermore, her hair was falling out; she even found clumps of blond hair in the waste paper basket. Shaking her head, she thought about telling everyone about what she knows, but she didn't wanna get yelled at by Alex if the information was leaked.

Sighing deeply, she gathered her things and walked out of the precinct.

X

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 10, 2007**

Feeling nauseous after eating a turkey club sandwich and a bag of Lays potato chips, Alex bolted to the bathroom a couple of minutes later and huddled over the toilet. Sticking her finger down her throat, she proceeded to puke out the contents from what she just ate; grunting and groaning as she did this. She could feel strands of her blond hair leaving her scalp, but either she didn't notice or didn't care at this point. In the case, it was both.

When she finally got finished puking her guts out, she sat on the floor and proceeded to sob loudly and openly. She lived alone, so who's gonna hear her? Nobody because she was alone. Truly alone.

Wiping the tears away from her face, she slowly got up from the floor and looked at herself in the mirror. Alexandra Rebecca Eames, a widow and a career woman, can't bring herself to admit that she has a eating disorder; not to mention, she has another secret she had managed to keep for so long.

Looking down at the sink, she grabbed the razor blade and held it between her fingers for a moment. She can't remember the last time she did something like this, but nothing good was going on in her life anymore and other than her job, she was pretty much complacent in her life now. She doesn't have a man, she doesn't have any children and she hasn't spoken to her family in a long time. Her relationship with her mother was lukewarm at best and she didn't even wanna think about her father. Her sister, however, they were really close, but after Alex carried a son for her, Alana moved away and cut off all sorts of contact.

That tore her up inside. She wasn't the same person ever again.

After scanning the razor blade for several more minutes, she placed it against her left wrist. Slowly and feeling all thoughts leaving her mind and body, she slid the piece of metal deep across her skin, watching in satisfaction as crimson red known as blood started seeping out of her wrist. Before long, at least a fourth of her arm was covered in blood as she continued cutting.

With more tears falling from her eyes, Alex ended up cutting her right wrist with the same blade. Before long, both of her arms were covered in blood.

And, for her, it felt good to release all her pain.

X

**Meloni's bar**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 10, 2007**

"Guys, I'm worried about Alex," Carolyn said, looking somber.

Mike Logan put down his drink and looked at his girlfriend curiously. "I don't understand, Car. What's wrong with her?"

"She's been acting different lately. She doesn't eat out with us anymore, she barely eats anything; furthermore, I found clumps of her hair in the waste paper basket. And when I asked her to come with us for drinks, she looked pale and her body looked thin. I think something's wrong with her," she told him.

Bobby Goren, the resident criminal profiler of the squad, didn't say anything, but he did listen very well. Like Carolyn, he, too, noticed some not so good changes in his partner and best friend, but he didn't say anything to her about it because he didn't wanna get the third degree. It was eating away at him, though, to see her suffer for something he didn't even know about.

It didn't matter to him. He was gonna get to the bottom of what was wrong with Alex. And he's gonna do whatever it takes to help her.

"Car, did she tell you where she was going tonight?" he asked, finally speaking up.

"She went straight home. She said she had court in the morning," she replied.

He just nodded his head and continued sipping his drink in silence. He didn't know what else to do, so before he goes home tonight, he's gonna stop by her house and talk to her.

It's the least he can do.

X

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 10-11, 2007**

After cleaning up the mess she made in the bathroom, Alex changed into her pajamas and headed for bed. Just when she was about to climb in, she heard someone knock on the door. She didn't want any visitors so she ignored the knocks and proceeded to get comfortable on the bed. A annoying sigh escaped her lips when the knocks on the door soon became loud pounding. Before long, she got upset and climbed out of the bed.

"Whoever it is, GO AWAY!!" she screamed as she headed towards the door. However, her mood changed when she opened the door and found Bobby standing on her front porch.

"W-what are you doing here at this time of night, Bobby?" she asked, being a little more calm.

"Alex, I just came by to talk to you. Are you okay? You don't look like yourself anymore," he said softly.

She lowered her head when he said those words. She refused to even look at him.

"I'm fine. Nothing for you to worry about," she said bitterly.

"Alex, please, talk to me. Look at me. Just don't shut me out," he pleaded with her.

She felt tears forming in her brown eyes. He was trying to reach out to her, but she didn't let him in. She didn't want to let him in.

"Bobby, just go home. I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow," she said. Before he could get another word in, she shut the door in his face. He stood there for a few moments, feeling a tear falling from his eye. He reached over and touched the door before he turned on his heel and walked away slowly. He knew there's always tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Alex slid down on the floor and buried her face in her hands. She wrapped her arms around her legs and felt her body shake violently. A voice in her head called her a fool for not telling Bobby about her painful secrets. He wanted to help her, not criticize her. It was like her heart was ripped completely out of her chest.

Sighing deeply and wiping her face with her hands, she got up from the floor and proceeded to head for bed again. She needed to get some sleep because she's gonna have to deal with Bobby and the rest of the squad tomorrow.

Bobby was sitting in the car, wondering if he should go back and talk to her again. But he didn't want the door being slammed in his face again, so he just sat his car and thought about what he's gonna do. He wants to be there for her, but she's not letting him in. If she's hurting, he wants to help her. He wanted to know why she's looking so sad and weak right now.

Cutting on the ignition, he closed his eyes and felt the night air engulf his senses. He realized that no matter what happens, he's never gonna leave her side.

He's gonna be there for her. Through thick and thin.

**Coming up in the next chapter: Alex collapses in the squad room. Stay tuned!**

**Please review!**


	2. Collapsed

**The reviews for the first chapter has been amazing, thank you very much. I know it's unusual for me to write a story with a serious subject matter like cutting and dealing with an eating disorder. I just to be as realistic as possible for your enjoyment. And, believe me, there's a lot to cover here. Alex's painful past will be revealed as the story rolls along, so sit back, relax and enjoy this brand new chapter!**

**One more thing, for anyone who's a BA shipper, yes, they will be together in this story. I got you covered.**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Major Case Squad**

**22****nd**** precinct**

**One Police Plaza**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 11, 2007**

Bobby walked into work the next day, still trying to figure out how he's gonna help Alex when it's clear she doesn't want any help. He sighed deeply as he ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair and dropped his things down at this desk. As he was about to go and get a cup of coffee, Alex walked in, looking like she hasn't slept very well in a long time. Her hair was messed up and sticking out everywhere, her clothes were wrinkled and she looked pale like a ghost. Furthermore, she had bags underneath her eyes and she looked like she's been crying.

He can't put his finger on it, but something happened after he left last night that caused her to look like she does now. He can't put his finger on it, but she was hurting and as much as he wanted to reach out and help her, he didn't want to get reamed later on.

"Alex, are you okay? You don't look right," he told her softly.

She just looked up at him and smiled slightly. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"When the last time you got a good night's sleep? When's the last time you ate something?" he asked, practically begging.

"I ate before I came to work this morning. And I did sleep last night, just not too well," she partially admitted. She did eat again, but she wounded up puking and cutting herself again before she left.

"Alex, did something happen that caused you to change?" he asked, pressing on.

That's when she got angry. "Look, Bobby, I don't know what's going on or why you decided to care, but I wish for you to leave me alone!"

"Please, whatever it is, let me help you," he pleaded.

Still angry and feeling dizzy, she walked away from him; however, she felt woozy and began to stumble. Before she had a chance to recover, she collapsed on the floor with Bobby coming to her aid and kneeling down over her fallen form. Everyone in the room surrounded them right away and trying to figure out what's going on.

"Hey, is she okay?" one officer asked, looking concerned.

"No. Someone get some help, please!" Bobby screamed. He looked down at Alex and tried to wake her up again.

"Alex, baby, everything's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. I'm here; I'm not going anywhere. Wake up, sweetie," he whispered, feeling tears forming in his eyes.

All he knows is he can't lose her.

He can't lose her.

X

**Mercy General Hospital**

**Alex Eames's room**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 11, 2007**

When she finally woke up, she didn't know where she was at first, but once she got a clear view of the window, the door and the fact that she's laying in a hospital bed, she knew where she was. And she didn't like being in the hospital. She hated being in the hospital.

The last time she was in the hospital was when she was kidnapped by Bobby's mentor's daughter and suffered a head injury as she attempted to escape from where she was held hostage at. She reached down and pulled her hospital gown up and was horrified to see her bones sticking against her skin. Furthermore, both of her wrists were bandaged heavily and she was getting ready to throw up because she had some fluids pumped into her stomach. God, she never felt more sicker in her life.

Lowering her head in shame and feeling hot tears forming in her eyes, she couldn't let anyone see her like this. Her heart was ripped out of her chest and she just wanted to die.

She just wanted the pain to go away.

However, she knew she had a lot to deal with. And she finally realized that she needed help big time. She shouldn't have snapped at Bobby because all he was doing was being concerned and being a good friend to her, but she once again pushed him away and decided to wallow her pity by herself. However, she knew there was no other option. She needs help.

And, this time, she's gonna get help. She wants to get better. She needs to get better. And she's not alone.

"Detective, how are we feeling right now?" Doctor Alicia Kinney asked when she walked in.

"Like I got ran over by a bus, but I've seen better days," Alex replied softly.

"Well, it seems that you overworked yourself lately, Ms. Eames. You lost 75 pounds and I noticed that you've been sleep deprived a lot. How long have you been having this disease?" Alicia asked.

Alex sighed. "Since high school. There was a period where I managed to stop for a time, but I relapsed."

"And the cutting? How long have you doing that?" Alicia asked as she was jotting the information down on her pad.

"Since college," Alex admitted, breaking down.

"Does anyone know?" Alicia asked.

"No, but I know it's only a matter a time before someone does," Alex whispered.

"Well, I recommend that you stay with someone when you get out of here and then I'm recommending that you seek help. There's a treatment center here in New York that I'm referring you to and I'm suggesting that you take some time off from work to recuperate," Alicia explained firmly.

"I understand. Um, is my partner outside?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, he's standing right outside. He's the one who brought you here," Alicia replied.

"Since there's no sense for me to hide it any longer, can you let him in for me? I'm ready to tell him everything," Alex finally admitted.

Alicia smiled and placed her hand on Alex's shoulder. "You're doing the right thing. This is the first step."

Just then, Bobby walked into the room with a sad look on his face. Alex reached over and grabbed his hand gently. Both of them started crying at the sight of each other.

"Alex, I don't know what to say. I thought I'd lost you," he confessed.

She nodded her head in agreement. "Honestly, I wanted to die. I believed I had no reason to live anymore."

"What?! Are you serious?! You have a lot to live for! You have people who love you, like me! Don't say that to me again!" he screamed, which made her cringe in fear. She had seen Bobby go into a rage plenty of times, but this is one of few times he snapped at her.

"I'm sorry," she said tearfully.

He calmed down immediately. "No, I'm sorry. I had no right to yell at you. Truth be told, I wanted to help you so bad, but I didn't wanna get yelled at in the long run. It's not just me; everyone at the station is worried about you."

Alex kept quiet for a moment. She was scared as hell? How the hell can she tell Bobby about her life when she can't even get control of it again, knowing what she had done since her younger years? How can she even face her co-workers and friends again and not be ashamed of what she had done to herself? And how can she able to love again and be in a fulfilling relationship when she can't even love herself?

"I don't know what to do anymore, Bobby. I'm out of control. I can't even save myself," she broke down and sobbed.

He went over and wrapped his strong arms around her. She laid her head on his shoulder and sobbed on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead gently and whispered comforting words in her ear, calming her down.

"When you're ready to tell me, I'll be right here," he assured her.

"Please don't leave me. I don't wanna be alone," she begged him.

He tightened his arms around her. "I'm not going anywhere, Alex. I'm not going anywhere."

X

**Meloni's bar**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 11, 2007**

"I hope Alex's okay. That was scary," Carolyn said sadly as she was sipping her drink.

Mike sighed deeply. "I know how you feel. I'm glad Bobby's being there for her. She needs a friend right now."

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Nola Falacci asked as she was sipping her scotch and coke.

"She's been overworking herself, that's what I had heard," Megan Wheeler replied.

"Car, you may be right about her. She hasn't been herself lately. As I was going home yesterday, I saw several clumps of her hair in the trash can and she ran straight to the bathroom after she ate a sandwich," Nola told them.

Mike shook his head. "Yeah, she has the tendency of going to the bathroom every 2-3 minutes."

"I don't know what's going on, but if she's not gonna tell us, we can't push her to talk. She'll tell us when she's ready. Besides, Bobby's there for her. I'm sure in the long run, she'll let her guard down and tell him and/or all of us," Carolyn replied softly.

Until then, all they can do is pray for her.

X

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 12, 2007**

Alex was happy to be back at home and felt even better that Bobby was staying with her. She's gonna need all the support she gets because starting next week, she start therapy.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she looked at herself and felt disgusted at the woman she has become. However, her eyes widened when the image looked back at her in the form of her father. Tears started falling from her eyes as she looked at the man she loved and hated so much.

_You mean nothing to me, Alex. You're nothing; always will be nothing and forever will be nothing. I can't even look at you. You're a pathetic piece of shit! _

Closing her eyes and trying so hard to block her father's images from her head, she picked up her hair spray and threw it against the mirror, shattering into pieces. A large jagged piece of the mirror fell in the sink and she reached down to grab it. She held it against her left wrist and was about to cut herself again to relieve herself from the pain, Bobby walked in to check on her.

"Alex, no! Don't do this!" he screamed as he reached over and slapped the object away from her. She just stood there, looking pale, weak and she found herself slipping and falling. He understood; there were no need for words to be said.

He reached over and wrapped his arms around her. She collapsed into his embrace and started sobbing openly and loudly. He just kissed her forehead gently and tightened his arms around her.

God, this day couldn't get any worse.

**Coming up in the next chapter: Alex starts therapy and with Bobby's love and support, she finally reveals her painful childhood to everyone. Meanwhile, Alex's father resurfaces and decides to taunt his daughter more. Stay tuned!**

**Keep in mind, this is a short story. I have the tendency to get right to the point in my stories. **

**Please review!**


	3. Dear ole daddy

**I'm so happy you're enjoying this story. I must say, doing this has been a blessing for me. I must also say that this is the most heavily subject I ever encountered and it does hit home for me in a way. I was in an abusive relationship in high school and my self-esteem issues were so down (not to mention I was a victim of bullying) that I contemplated suicide. So what you are about to read is somewhat based on what I went through in high school.**

**Oh, and I heard some awful news. So, Logan's gone, Wheeler's gone and now it's a strong possibly that Goren, Eames and Ross are on the way out when the new season starts soon. I don't know what's going on, but if it's true, then I'm gonna stop watching the show altogether. Oh, I'll still have SVU, but that could change if Benson and Stabler leave. I'm at a loss right now.**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Mercy General Hospital**

**Recovery and Treatment Unit**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 18, 2007**

"My name is Dr. Amanda Cole. Today, we are here to help you discover why do you hurt yourself and we're here to lend you support. Why we don't go around the room and introduce yourself and tell us why are you here," she told everyone in the room.

Alex was apprehensive about this. Maybe she was having second thoughts about getting help. As she looked around and saw everyone with similar backgrounds and similar problems, she sighed deeply and realized that she chose to come here. Besides, she has the love and support from her partner and best friend because if she didn't, she would've kept doing what she was doing and would've ultimately end up dead.

One by one, each person talked about how being abused, being raped and being abandoned led them to drink, to do drugs, to cut themselves, to stop eating and to just stop caring about themselves. It was something she would never forget. Every single person was going through the same thing she was going through. That made her realize that she wasn't alone. They wanted help and that's why they're here.

"Alex, you're next," Amanda called out to her.

Taking a deep breath, she started speaking, "I have a eating disorder and I cut myself."

"Would you tell everyone why did you go down that path?" Amanda asked softly.

With tears forming in her eyes, Alex continued, "I have had these problems since my younger years. My father, who was a cop, used to abuse me. I didn't think of it at first because I had nothing but love and the upmost respect for him. He's the reason why I became a cop, but no matter what I did or how hard I try, it was never good enough for my father. My relationship with my mother was lackluster at best, but I was very close to my sister."

"What kind of abuse did your father inflict on you?" one of the patients asked.

Alex cleared her throat. "He hit me. A lot. He'd also called me names, he'd give me the silent treatment and, sometimes, he'd lock me out of the house. I never understood why he hate me so much."

"What led you to start cutting yourself and stop eating?" Amanda asked.

"My father, um, he locked me in the closet when I was 14. No food, no water. When my mother and sister were out of the house one time, he dragged me out and threw me down on the floor. He had this sick smile on his face. I tried to get away, but he kicked me down. And that's when he....he raped me," Alex broke down and sobbed.

Everyone in the room gasped in shock at her revelation. Alex just kept lowering her head because she didn't want anyone to see her crying and being all upset. She was just that broken.

"How many times?" Amanda asked, her voice cracking.

"It was one too many to count. That's when I started cutting myself and my eating habits changed. Every time I eat, I'd run to the bathroom and puke my guts out. This became an everyday occurrence for me. When I turned 18, I finally had the chance to get away from my father; to be free and to be able to be on my own, but he had other plans. My mother was killed in a car crash and he just became more and more angry. He tried so hard to keep me in the house, but I wanted out and I did get out. That angered him even more. However, my habits continued, even after I married Joe," Alex explained softly.

"Did you stop? Did you ever get sick of hurting yourself?" Amanda asked.

"For a time, I did stop. Things were good for a while; Joe and I were married and we both were with the police force. Then, my world shattered when my husband was killed in the line of duty. I didn't know how to live after he died. I ended up hurting myself again. It was like my father was taunting me in my head," she told them.

Standing outside and having to listen to everything Alex said tore Bobby up inside. His head broke when he heard the god-awful truth about her father hurting her and how she ended up dead inside after Joe was killed years ago. And he knew how she felt, too. When his mother died, he thought he couldn't live after a while. He became a recluse; a shadow of himself. He was in complete shambles.

"I want to stop hurting myself. I really do, but I don't know how anymore. I don't wanna hurt anyone I love. That's why I never said anything to my partner and my co-workers. I didn't want any pity from them. I didn't wanna be hated," Alex confessed.

"Alex, no one hates you here. Talking about what happened to you is courageous and brave. Everyone feels your pain. Now, you're here because you want to be here and you want help. And we're here for you," Amanda assured her.

For the first time in her life, she felt relieved and happy to know that she had a support system. And she knows for sure that Bobby has heard everything she said and now she doesn't have to hide anything from him anymore. If he's gonna ask about her childhood, she's more than ready to let him in this time. And, although they never said out loud, deep down inside, they truly love each other.

However, just as she finally was about to face her fears and is ready to take control of her life again, someone from her past will try his best to wreck that for her.

That someone, who happens to be very close to her.

X

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 18, 2007**

After a light lunch at a local restaurant, which Alex surprised herself by eating a whole meal and not going to the bathroom to throw up, she and Bobby came back to her place to watch some television. Captain Ross informed her that she can't come back to work until she's medically cleared to come back, plus she has to go through intense psychiatric evaluation. So, in other words, she's now on paid administrative/personal leave.

"So, do you want something to drink? I gave up drinking alcohol a long time ago and threw them away," Alex said as she went into the kitchen.

"Really? Well, do you have any soda?" Bobby asked as he sat down on the sofa and grabbed the remote.

"Yeah, and I'll even pop some popcorn," she said as she went into the refrigerator and pulled out two cans of soda. Just as she reached inside the cabinet and pulled out a bag of popcorn, someone knocked on the front door.

"I'll get it," Bobby said as he got up and answered just as the pounding got even louder. When he opened the door, a middle-aged man wearing dark-rimmed glasses stood outside, wearing a angry glare on his face.

"May I help you?" Bobby asked nonchalantly.

"Where's my daughter?!" he snapped.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bobby asked, looking confused.

"Don't play dumb with me, you asshole! You think I don't know who you are, Bobby?! What did Alex tell you?!" the man barked.

Alex struggled to put the two glasses of soda on the counter. Once she did, however, she had to brace herself. Her father was here and he was angry. She didn't wanna see him, but she can't just tell him to go away and never come back. He's her father.

"I'm not leaving until I talk to my daughter! And I want you out!" John snapped.

"Listen, man, don't yell at me! Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you after what you had done to her! All she wanted was for you to love her, but, no, you hurt her! What kind of man beats and rapes his own fucking child?!" Bobby snapped back.

John suddenly smiled evilly. "Simple. My bitch of a daughter needed to be taught a lesson and as her father, I made sure she followed the rules, not for her to tell the whole damn world!"

"You're one sick son of a bitch!" Bobby said before he proceeded to slam the door in John's face, but the patriarch of the Eames family block it and kicked the door open, knocking Bobby down in the process. He barged in and found his daughter standing in the kitchen with fear looming over her tear-stained face.

"You fucking little cunt! I can't believe you went and opened your big fucking mouth! Now I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson that you'll never forget!" he snapped as he advanced towards her. However, his inner strength kicked in, so she grabbed her gun and pointed it at him.

"Put the fucking gun down now!" John screamed.

Alex shook her head. "I can't do that, daddy. You hurt me so much. I only had nothing but love and respect for you, but you hate me. And, for what? Because I'm a girl?"

He laughed sarcastically. "No, because I didn't want anymore children, but your mother got pregnant with you. Your sister was enough."

More tears started falling from her eyes. "All I wanted from you is to love me. To treat me like a daughter. But, you couldn't even do that, could you? You couldn't love me. You didn't want to love me. I can't understand why you hate me so much."

He glared at her. "Who want to love a pathetic piece of shit like you, Alexandra?! Your husband never loved you, baby."

"He loved me more than you ever did," she replied softly.

"No one ever loved your stupid, gullible ass! Not me, not your mother, not your sister and definitely not your dead husband!" he screamed as he got closer and closer to her.

"Don't take another step, dad," she warned him.

"And I told you to put the gun down! You forget; I used to be a cop! I can have your ass locked up for murder!" he snapped.

"Not if it's self-defense and not if she had a witness," Bobby said when he got up from the floor.

"I told you to leave! This is between me and my daughter!" John yelled.

"I'm not going anywhere, John. Alex wants me here because I'm the only person she can trust," Bobby reacted.

John realized that what Bobby said was true. Besides, he did barge in without permission and he did knock Bobby down when he kicked the door open. He looked over and glared at his daughter one more time before he turned on his heel and began to walk out. However, just as he was about to head out the door, he stopped for a moment and looked at his child with a look of malice and fury.

"This isn't over," he told her before he stormed out of her house and slammed the door behind him. Bobby thought about going after him, but decided against it because Alex needed him more.

Speaking of Alex, she lowered the gun and put it on the counter, then she completely broke down and started crying. He went over to where she was standing and wrapped his strong arms around her, kissing her forehead gently. She laid her head on his shoulder and sobbed on his shirt; gripping on it tightly and sniffing loudly.

"I'm not going anywhere, Alex. I'm here," he whispered in her ear.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Bobby. My father won't leave me alone," she sobbed.

He just looked angry as he held her tighter. He vowed to protect her at all costs. He knew she was hurting so much, and he didn't know what else to do, so he just content to hold her as long as she felt comfortable with him.

He realized he's not going anywhere for a long time.

**Coming up in the next chapter: Bobby joins Alex's group session and reveals some shocking information about his past. Meanwhile, Alex's father shows up once again and decided to punish her some more. Stay tuned!**

**This is the first time I'm writing Alex's father in a very bad light. If you ever read any of my SVU stories with Olivia and her father, I have the tendency to write him in a very bad light a lot. **

**Please review!**


	4. Doing the unthinkable

**The reviews have been amazing, thank you very much. I have to warn you that things will get more intense as the story rolls along because Alex isn't done with her father yet. And, please be warned, this chapter does contain some graphic images, so if you under 18 or if you can't handle the content, I suggest you don't read it. Believe me, it's gonna get really intense.**

**One more thing, I'm glad to hear you guys say that I'm not rushing the BA romance. Believe me, any other time, I would've done it, but it's good for them to be friends for a while before they can finally get together. Besides, Alex has a lot to deal with and being in a romance so soon isn't gonna help her.**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 19, 2007**

With the sun peeking through the curtains, Alex slowly began opening her eyes. She raised her hand up to block the sun away from her face, but it was no use and she wouldn't be able to back to sleep anyway. Rubbing her tired eyes with her fingers, she sat up on the bed and began to stretch her muscles. Running her fingers through her sandy blond hair, she pushed the covers away from her body and climbed out of bed. She decided a good cup of coffee would do her some good.

Walking into the kitchen, a tiny smile appeared on her face when she watched Bobby sleeping peacefully on the sofa. She offered him to stay with her yesterday after her hasty ordeal with her father and he promised that he wasn't going anywhere unless she tells him to leave. However, she couldn't bear not having him in her life. He's been so caring and wonderful to her since he finally learned about her painful ordeal.

Speaking her father, a shiver ran up and down her spine. She couldn't believe he came back after everything he had done to her. To make matters worse, she still was afraid of him. And for Bobby to stand up for her was a blessing and a curse. Alex didn't know how long she's gonna be able to handle being tortured by the man who gave her life. She believed she was slipping and falling into a terrible oblivion and she didn't know if she'll ever get out of it...

"_Alexandra Rebecca Eames! Get your stupid ass out here right now!" John barked from downstairs._

_13-year-old Alex shivered nervously as she sat in her room. Fresh tears started falling from her eyes and she only know what's gonna happen if she wasn't downstairs. Her father would come up here and drag her downstairs by her hair. So, and with shaky legs, she got up and walked out of her bedroom._

"_Yes, daddy?" she said softly when she reached the top of the stairs._

"_I said come down here right NOW!" he screamed._

_Another shiver ran through her as she descended downstairs. When she finally got down on the floor, her father grabbed her by the arm and yanked her towards him._

"_I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but when I say come downstairs right now, I FUCKING MEAN IT!!" he screamed in her face._

"_Y-yes, daddy," she gulped nervously._

"_Now, where's my damn dinner?! Your mother and sister aren't coming home for a while and I'm hungry!" he snapped._

"_Mommy called me when I got home. She told me not to cook you anything until she got back," she said softly._

_Screaming out in anger and frustration, he threw her against the wall and stood there with his hands balled up into tight fists. Pain started shooting up her back and she cried out in agony because it was unbearable. _

"_You fucking little tramp, I can't believe I have you for a daughter! You don't mean anything to me!" he yelled._

"_Please, no more," she sobbed openly, which pissed him off even more._

_He stormed over to her, grabbed her by her blond hair and yanked her up on her feet again. With more tears falling from her eyes, she struggled to get out of his strong grip, but it was no use. For one, he was stronger than her and two, she was still in pain from being thrown into the wall._

"_I'm gonna teach you a lesson you won't ever forget, you lousy bitch!" John snapped before he threw her over his shoulder and proceeded to head upstairs. Even though she was in pain, she wasn't about to let him hurt her anymore. To her credit, she started fighting back._

_However, once they reached her bedroom, John's anger reached enormous proportions. He slammed her down on the floor, causing more pain to shoot up her back. Alex tried rolling over, but he put his foot down on her stomach, crushing the life out of her._

"_You're gonna fucking learn not to fight back! When I say you're gonna get punished, you're gonna get fucking punished!" he screamed. He then took off his belt and flipped her over on her stomach. Her brown eyes were wide eyed in horror and fear because she knew what was coming next. She could feel him ripping her shirt off and she could hear him cracking the belt. She started crying more loudly._

"_Oh, Alex, no one can help you now. So take this like a good little girl and if I find out you opened your mouth, I'll do so much worse to your stupid ass," he warned before he cracked the belt again._

_She had to bite her lip when the first blow to her back was inflicted ..._

"Alex, are you okay?" Bobby called out to her.

She shook herself out of a trance and looked at him with a tainted smile on her face. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about something."

"Thinking about what are you gonna say at group therapy today?" he asked softly.

She laid her head against his chest and sighed. "I won't have to talk much today because we get to bring someone close to us. And I figured since you're already here, you can go with me."

"I was planning on going with you anyway," he assured her with a smile on his face.

"Um, in addition with coming with me, you have to reveal your childhood trauma as well," she said nervously.

He just nodded his head. He knew it was about time for him to reveal what it's like growing up with a mother who was sick all the time, not knowing his father, who turned out to be a criminal and having a drug-addicted brother whom he never really gotten along with. He ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair and sighed because he didn't want anyone to know about his problems. However, since Alex was willing to share her story, he was willing, too. Besides, there were some secrets he had kept for so long and he knew it was only a matter of time before it was out in the open.

"You scared or something?" Alex asked, snapping him out of his trance.

"Or something," Bobby mumbled nervously.

"You having nothing to worry about. I'm taking the first step to get my life back on track and you being there for me has been an added bonus. I wouldn't change it for the world," she said with a smile on her face.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he held her close to him and kissed her forehead gently. He knew everything was gonna be okay between them.

He can only hope things will be okay between them in the long run.

X

**Mercy General Hospital**

**Recovery and Treatment Unit**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 19, 2007**

"Okay, everyone. As you know, today I want the people you brought with you to reveal some terrible things from their past; to let you know that you're not alone. We're gonna go around the room and have your partners introduce themselves and let them tell their story," Amanda announced.

Alex was a bundle of nerves when the conversations started flowing quickly. She looked over her shoulder and saw Bobby fidgeting around his seat; shaking his leg and his hands were clammy. She reached over and linked her hand with his; calming him down and soothing him with a warm smile on her face. That seemed to be enough for him to stop shaking for the time being.

"Alex, you're up next," Amanda called out to her.

Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth, "this man sitting next to me is my partner and best friend, Robert Goren."

"You can call me Bobby," he jumped in.

"And what do you do for a living, Bobby?" Amanda asked sternly.

He cleared his throat. "As Alex mentioned before, I'm her partner at work. I'm a detective with the Major Case Squad. We've been partners for going on seven years now."

"I see. So, tell me, Bobby, what was your childhood like?" Amanda pressed.

Bobby was starting to sweat and he was about to shake again. He hated being put on blast, but he was doing it for Alex. She needed him.

"Well, I had a terrible childhood as well. My mother was sick and Alex believed I never knew my father, but I actually did; just in a not so nice away," he confessed.

Alex was shocked. Bobby knew his father and didn't tell her?! She shook her head in disbelief.

"My father was a criminal. He'd be gone for weeks at a time, but he was also home and he had the tendency to beat the crap out of me. My brother and I never got along because he wasn't at home a lot himself, which lead him to become a drug user. Everyday, I had to hear my father saying I'll never amount to nothing, that I'm worthless and stupid. It hurts me to know that the man who gave me life and supposed to nurture me never game a damn about me. It was like my heart was ripped out of my chest," he explained, which shocked everyone in the room.

Alex had tears in her eyes. She squeezed his hand tightly and felt every single emotion he released pour into her body and soul. She closed her eyes and felt his pain, his passion and his shattered heart leaking into hers. It was an out of body experience. He knew exactly what he was going through in his own way.

"All I wanted in my life is to be loved, but my father never gave that to me. I know my mother loved me, but she never had the chance to show it to me. So I ended up making some mistakes in my teenage years. I became a promiscuous teenager. I was determined to sleep with every girl in school because I wanted attention and I wanted love. It didn't help me, though. I ended up being hurt more because of my actions," he confessed.

"W-what about your family?" Amanda asked, wiping the tears away from her eyes.

"My father took off when I was 15. He never came back home. My brother left shortly after that, which left me to take care of my ailing mother by myself. I had to grow up quickly because she needed him and she didn't have anyone taking care of her. And things got better for me; especially since my father was no longer in my life. I was happy for once. Someone still loves me out there and that person happens to be me," Bobby said with a tainted smile on his face.

Alex nodded her head. She understood what he was saying. The only person that matters in life is yourself and if you can't learn to love yourself, you can't allow yourself to love someone else. As she kept holding his hand, she silently let him know that she completely understand where he's coming from.

And hopefully, before it's too late, she'll allow herself to love him as well.

X

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 19, 2007**

"Thanks for dropping me off, Bobby," Alex beamed as they stood outside her home.

He grinned at her. "It's no problem. You know something? Therapy really opened my eyes today."

"I'm really glad you came with me today. And I want you to know that I really appreciate you telling everyone, including me, about your life. I had no idea your father hurt you," she told him sadly.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead gently. "I know how you feel, Alex, that's why I opened up. If it's okay with you, I would like to go back with you again in the near future."

"I'd like that very much," she told him with a smile on his face.

"Well, that's good. Listen, I'm gonna head on home. I haven't seen the inside of my apartment in a day and I'm pretty sure my answering machine is filled up," he laughed as he stepped off the porch and headed towards his car.

"You're coming back, right?" she called out to him.

He looked at her and smiled. "Count on it."

A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she unlocked her door, opened it and stepped right inside. However, her mood quickly changed when she cut on her lamp and was shocked to find her father sitting in the living room with a evil look on his face.

"W-what are you doing here?!" she shrieked.

He snarled at her. "I told you it wasn't over and I meant it! Now, where's your little boyfriend?!"

"He went home, not that's any of your business! I want you out of my house now!" she screamed.

He got up from the sofa and stormed over to where she was standing. He grabbed her arm and yanked her towards him, but she somehow managed to snatch her arm away from him and backed away. She refused to be scared anymore.

"Get your ass over here right now!" he snapped at her.

"No! I don't have to listen to you anymore! I'm a grown ass woman! I don't know why you decide to come back and want to be Mr. I'm-in-control-in-my-daughter's-life again, but it's not gonna work this time! I don't want you anywhere near me anymore! So, please leave me the hell alone and let me live my life!" she snapped back.

That was enough to send him over the edge. He raised his hand up and slapped her hard across her face. She held her face in her hands for a moment and looked at him, stunned.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?!" she sobbed.

He smirked at her. "I told you I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget. And it's gonna happen right now!"

A look of terror and horror loomed over her face when he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her towards her bedroom.

He couldn't possibly do what he's about to do again, wasn't he?!

Or was he?!

**Coming up in the next chapter: Bobby returns, only to hear Alex scream. Will he be able to save her in time or is he too late? Stay tuned!**

**Please review!**


	5. Not a moment too soon

**And I'm back. So I left you hanging in the last chapter because Alex's father vows to 'teach' her a lesson she'll never forget. Now, the question is, will Bobby be able to put a stop to it or will he be too late? And will Alex be able to fight back after everything she's been through? There's only one way to find out, so I suggest you read this chapter and you'll get your answers.**

**BTW, I know you're wondering what happens to the others because I've been focusing on Bobby/Alex so much. Don't worry; I haven't forgotten about them. They will come along in a timely fashion. I think I'm planning on extending this story a little bit more.**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 19, 2007**

John threw her on the bed when he kicked the door open and dragged her inside; his hands tangling into her long blond hair tightly. She struggled to keep away from him, but he was too fast, too smart and not falling for her tricks. With a evil smile on his face, he managed to pin her down on the bed with his hard body; clamping his hand down over her mouth to keep her from screaming. She bit down on his finger hard, causing him to scream out in pain and jump back. Anger filled his veins as he raised his hand up and slapped her hard across her face.

"You stupid little bitch! You'll learn not to do that again!" he hissed right into her face. She struggled to get away from him, but he wasn't having it and pinned her down even harder.

"I'm afraid I'm can't let you go just yet, honey. You see, as your father, it's my duty for me to inflict some discipline on you. And I'm gonna see it to that you'll never disobey nor disrespect me again," he said with a sadistic grin on his face. Alex's eyes were wide open in shock. She wasn't about to let him hurt her again, so she somehow raised her knee up and kicked him where it really hurts. He doubled over in pain and got off of her, which left her some time to get up to grab her gun.

"Where do you think you're going, slut?!" he snapped. As she was running into the living room, he grabbed her ankle and tripped her to the point she crashed and burned on the floor. He quickly crawled over to her and once again pinned her down with his hard body. This time, he grabbed a vase and smashed her face with it; satisfied to see blood gushing out on the right side of her face.

"Now, you will pay," he sneered at her as he began ripping her clothes off.

Bobby pulled up into the driveway and killed the engine to his car. He was able to finish a lot sooner so he can be with Alex again. He did promise he'd come back and he was living up to his promise.

As he was about to open the door, he heard Alex scream. Fear and alarm rose within him, so he pulled his gun out of his holster and kicked the door open. He searched around the house and found the bedroom door was open. He ran right inside and stumbled into a horrible sight.

Alex was on the floor with her father on top of her; trying to rip her clothes off. She struggled to get away from him, but he kept hitting her and hitting her.

Something inside made Bobby snap. He was known for being a loose cannon on the force, but seeing his best friend defenseless made him mad as hell. He dropped his gun and lunged at John, tackling him down on the floor and proceeded to beat the holy hell out of him. Alex quickly got up and hovered over by a nearby corner, curling herself up into a little ball. She buried her face in her hands and started sobbing hysterically, letting everything out as loud as she can. She flinched when she felt a hand touching her shoulder, but when she raised her head up and saw Bobby looking at her with helpless eyes, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck.

"Are you okay?" he whispered in her ear.

She just shook her head. She didn't even wanna talk right now.

"They're on their way, honey. I called them after I got done beating the shit out of your father," he assured her.

"Thank you for coming back," she whispered to him.

He kissed her forehead gently as he heard the sirens from a block away.

Several minutes later, John was sitting in the backseat of a squad car and glared at Bobby and Alex through the window as the car pulled away and disappeared down the street. Alex was sitting down on the steps while paramedics attended to her wounds. Bobby was talking to the captain and telling him what happened inside the house. Ross patted him on the shoulder and told him that everything will work out fine, then he left.

"How she's doing?" he asked one of the paramedics.

"She's got a couple bruises on her face, but there's no serious injuries here," she told him.

"Alex, they want to take you to the hospital to make sure you don't have anymore injuries. If you go, I'll come with you," he said as he kneeled down in front of her.

She didn't say anything to him. She just nodded her head and slowly got up. With his hand placed on the small of her back, he escorted her to the ambulance and helped her get inside. He climbed in right behind her, letting her know that he wasn't leaving her unless she tells him otherwise. But, with her clutching his hand, he knew he had no intention of leaving her. Ever.

And now she needs him more than ever.

X

**Major Case Squad **

**22****nd**** precinct**

**One Police Plaza**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 19, 2007**

"I can't believe what that son of a bitch tried to do to Alex!" Nola snapped.

Megan Wheeler shook her head in disbelief. "I can. Doesn't mean it's right, though. My father was never even around to do any of that stuff to me. And I was happy not to have him in my life."

Carolyn sighed. "I just hope Alex's okay. I can't imagine what she's going through right. I'm glad Bobby's being there for her."

"Do you guys know what's gonna happen to Alex's father?" Megan asked.

Nola looked angry. "I just hope they throw the book at him!"

"I agree with you, girl! Any man who would rape his own child and then tried to do it again deserves to go to jail," Megan agreed.

Just then, Mike showed up with several cups of coffee. He would drink the coffee the precinct made, but after hearing stories that John Munch have the tendency to turn coffee into sludge, he decided Starbucks would be good for them.

"What are you ladies talking about?" he asked as he sat the coffee down on his desk.

Carolyn turned to her boyfriend. "You haven't heard? Alex's father tried to rape her in her own home earlier."

Mike was shocked. "What?! He was in her house?! How she's doing?"

"Really torn up about the whole thing. Had it not been for Bobby, that bastard would've done it again. I'm afraid she's gonna relapse and end up hurting herself again," Carolyn told him.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her temple gently. "As long as Bobby's around, she's gonna be okay. Now where's the son of the bitch?"

"SVU's taking over the case. I hope they throw the book at him for what he did to her," Megan jumped in.

"How about we go down to the hospital and visit Alex? Let her know that we're here for her?" Nola suggested.

The others nodded and after they cleared it with their captain, they gathered their things and walked out of the precinct side by side. Only comfortable silence filled the air and they stepped inside the elevators and hitched their breaths when the doors closed.

It was hard to even breathe when someone they care about is at the brink of despair.

X

**Mercy General Hospital**

**Alex Eames' room**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 19, 2007**

After realizing that she wasn't seriously injured, other than a couple of bruises on her face, Alex was free to leave, but she didn't move a muscle yet. Bobby was getting some coffee from the cafeteria, which left her some much needed time to think about what the hell had happened in her home. Her father, the man who had made her life a living hell, tried to rape her again; as his was of punishing her for what she had done or hadn't done. The short, blond woman felt sick to her stomach at the thought of her father tearing her clothes off and pinning her down with his hard body. Had it not been for Bobby coming in and stopping her father, her life would've been ruined all over again.

Burying her face in her hands, she let out a loud sob. Why can't the man just leave her alone? He had made her life a living and breathing hell, so why he had to come back and make everything worse for her? He's the reason why she started cutting herself. Hell, he's the reason why she stopped eating. Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?

She climbed out of the bed and went by the window. Sunlight beamed through her face, but she wasn't a chirpy mood. Running her fingers through her long blond hair, she allowed more tears to fall from her brown eyes. God, she wanted to throw up, but she hadn't ate anything yet and she was doing so good so far in therapy. This was so messed up.

"Are you okay?" Bobby asked when he walked through the door.

She didn't look at him. She just kept staring at the window. "I'm fine."

"Listen, doctor said you can leave at any time. And I know you don't wanna go back to your place, so how about you stay with me?" he suggested with a tainted smile on her face.

"Thanks for the offer, but I rather go home. I'm gonna have to face my fears sometime. However, you can continue to stay with me. I feel much safer with you there," she told him.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes. He kissed the top of her head gently and held her tighter. He never wanted to let her go again, after everything that she had been through, he never wanted to be apart from her again.

"Alex, I'm sorry," he said out of the blue.

She turned around in his arms so she can look at him. "What are you apologizing for? You did nothing wrong?"

"I should've never left you alone. I should've asked you to come with me. I'm such a idiot," he said, his voice cracking with emotion.

She reached up and caressed his face with her hand. "Honey, it's not your fault. You had no way of knowing what my father was gonna do."

"I let you down, Alex. And in the process, I ended up letting myself down. You didn't deserve any of this. I'm sorry," he said, breaking down.

"Baby, you didn't let me down. If anything, you saved me. You saved me from hurting myself again and you once again saved me from my father. Don't beat yourself up over it, okay? I need you," she told him seriously.

"Even after all this, you still need me?" he asked, his eyes wide open in shock and disbelief.

"Who else's gonna get on my nerves on a daily basis?" she quipped, causing him to laugh out loud.

"Thanks. I needed that," he said honestly.

"See, I can get you to laugh again. Everything's gonna be fine. I'm gonna continue to get better," she assured him.

Without warning, he leaned down and slanted his mouth on hers gently and tenderly. Alex was shocked at first, but she soon relaxed and enjoyed the feelings of his lips against hers. It's been a long time since she kissed anyone and, boy, it felt good be to be held and loved for a change. Bobby was everything she could possibly want in a man and he's been so good to her through everything. What made it even better is that fact that he didn't rush things. He realized that when she's ready to embark on a relationship with him, he'll be waiting with open arms.

Little did they know, they were being watched. Eight sets of eyes watched the whole thing unfold and they looked at each other with smiles on their faces.

They knew things were definitely gonna get better between Bobby and Alex.

**Coming up in the next chapter: Alex goes visits her father for the last time and finally let him have it. Meanwhile, the Major Case Squad comes up with a plan to have Bobby and Alex get together. Stay tuned!**

**Oh, and by the way, if there's anyone who loves SVU, read my brand new story **_**Two of Hearts. **_**It's based on the dreaded upcoming episode **_**Spooked.**_

**Please review!**


	6. Finally standing up

**I'm back again with a brand new chapter. I have to say, this story is winding down and as much as I would to say I don't have anymore to cover, I do. Alex still have some issues to deal with, but her life will get easier now that her father's in jail. However, I'm contemplating whether or not he continues to torment her from behind bars. The man won't leave her alone, but, fortunately, she has Bobby by her side. She's not alone.**

**One more thing, should I have her be pregnant with? Let me know what you think!**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Eames residence**

**Queens, New York**

**October 26, 2007**

It's been a whole week since she was almost raped again by her father and, as much as she wanted to stay somewhere else, Alex feels being in own home was the first step in getting her life back on track. And it helps more that Bobby's staying with her again. Hell, he's practically moved in because she didn't wanna be alone anymore and she felt grateful for it.

Walking into the kitchen, she felt her stomach grumble loudly. Man, she was hungry. Her appetite was returning big time and she was happy to able to eat normally again. She was also happy to know that she was gaining weight again. Therapy was also going well; mainly because Bobby's been right there with her. She was able to reveal some the most painful parts of her childhood; what her father had done, why her mother and sister couldn't help her and why she felt she was at the end of her rope. She truly believed she was gonna die.

Her father was now in jail, but she knew he won't be held up in there for long. Because he's a former cop, he does have connections to get out or a least get a reduced sentence since this turned out to be a family matter and not a civil matter. When she learned the news, Alex was rightfully outraged. However, she has no plans on giving up. With Bobby by her side, she's ready and able to fight.

"Morning, Alex," Bobby called out to her from the living room.

She smiled at him. "Morning, Bobby. I wanna thank you for staying with me."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he told her as he got up from the sofa and went into the kitchen.

"You hungry? I was about to make breakfast," she told him as she rummaged through the fridge.

"Alex, instead of cooking me breakfast, why don't we go out to eat for change? We've been so cooped up here, we forgot about the outside world. Wouldn't be nice for the both of us to go out for a change?" he suggested with a smile on her face.

"I-I didn't think of that, Bobby," she honestly told him.

"It's okay; I'm not going anywhere, honey. You deserve to live; to do something for yourself for a change. We're on leave from work and I think it'll be a good idea for you to go out and do something fun," he replied, wrapping his arms around her. A silent sigh escaped his lips when she laid her head on his chest.

"Maybe you're right. I do deserve this. And I know what I want to do first," she responded.

"What do you want to do?" he whispered.

She raised her head up and looked at him intently. "I wanna see my father for the last time."

He looked at her for a second, trying to comprehend what she had just said. Truth be told, he wasn't surprised she wanted to see her father; even after everything he had done to her in her life. However, in order for her to move on and finally be able to live, she had to confront him one way or another.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, making sure she was making the right decision.

Alex nodded her head slowly. "I'm sure. I'm done living in fear. I'm done having to spend the rest of my life living in despair. I deserve this, for better or worse."

Bobby kissed her forehead gently and tightened his arms around her; never letting go. He's gonna make sure nothing bad happens to her from now on.

And that's a promise.

X

**Rikers Island Correctional Facility**

**Visitation room**

**Manhattan, New York**

**October 26, 2007**

John Eames sat at the table, looking angry and pissed off. He had a reason for being pissed off: he was behind bars. This was the last place he wanted to be at and quite frankly, he didn't like it one bit. He talked to his lawyer in trying to get him out on bail, but their efforts proved to be futile. He believed because he was a former cop, he'd have enough connections to get out. However, with his past history, including being fired from the police force for accepted bribes, they odds were definitely stacked against him.

He had no idea who wanted to see him, but whoever it was, he's not gonna be a happy camper. So, when the door opened, he was outraged to see Alex and Bobby walking in with a guard trailing close behind.

"What the HELL are you doing here?!" John snapped.

Alex didn't say anything. She just sat down across from him with Bobby standing right behind her. He placed his large hand on her shoulder as a gesture of comfort and support. And, boy, she needs it more than anything in the world right now.

"I'm gonna ask you this one more time: what the hell are you doing here?!" John snapped.

Alex stared at her father blankly. "I'm here to tell you to shut up and listen."

"I don't have to do a damn thing. However, you're gonna drop these charges against me and you're gonna get me out of jail. You had no business getting me locked up in the first place!" he seethed.

She didn't even flinch. "I'm not dropping anything, daddy. It's about time you face your responsibility. You've gotten away with hurting me long enough."

"Responsibility?! Bitch, you don't know a damn thing about responsibility! I'm your father and you should treat me with respect! I told you what's gonna happen when you decide to grow a backbone! It didn't work then and it's not gonna work now!" he snapped back.

"You know what, daddy, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I've had it with you making my life a living hell! I've had with you hurting me! I've had with you altogether! How can you even sleep at night, knowing what you had done to me?! You don't care about anyone! You don't even care about yourself!" she screamed as she stood up and pounded her fist on the table, startling John, Bobby and the guard in the room.

"You have nothing to say to me, daddy. Nothing at all. You had caused me so much pain and suffering that I wanted to kill myself. Had it not been for Bobby coming in and saving me, I would've ended up dead. I had nothing until I married Joe and became a cop. I had nothing until Bobby came along. I do have a family who loves me. I'm not alone anymore. And I'm no longer afraid of you. You're not gonna treat me like I'm nothing anymore," she explained to him.

John glared at his daughter. "You won't even be rid of me. I'm in your head. I'm never gonna leave you alone!"

"Yes, you will, because I have a surprise for you: you had just been taped," Alex sneered when she reached into her pocket and pulled out a tape recorder. John was shocked and angry that his own daughter would go so far to be rid of him.

"You fucking little bitch!" he said in a low, menacing tone.

"Who's the bitch now, daddy? Goodbye," she said as she got up, turned on her heel and began to walk out with Bobby trailing close behind. Two uniformed officers met her at the door; in which she handed over the tape recorder to them. As they were walking out, Alex could hear her father yelling and screaming at her; calling her all sorts of names and vowing to make her pay. She didn't pay him no mind because she had enough of him.

She realized it was time to move on. And with Bobby by her side, she was ready to tackle any challenge that was gonna come her way.

For the firs time in her life, she truly felt free.

X

**Major Case Squad**

**22****nd**** precinct**

**One Police Plaza**

**Manhattan, New York**

**November 10, 2007**

Although she wasn't cleared to come back to work full time, Alex was finally happy to be able to do something outside the house. Currently she was on desk duty, even though no new cases came in yet, so, for the most part, the bullpen has been extremely quiet. She looked over her shoulder and wondered where Bobby was, because she was hungry and she wanted to get out of here.

"Hey, Alex. What's going on?" Carolyn asked as she walked in with Nola and Megan trailing close behind.

"Nothing much. Have you guys seen Bobby?" Alex asked, looking around.

"He's out with Mike somewhere. Going somewhere?" Carolyn teased.

"Yeah, we're supposed to get something to eat. I'm hungry," Alex admitted.

"You know, you don't have to wait for Bobby. We ladies are pretty much done here. You can come with us," Megan jumped in.

Alex thought about it for a moment. She realized that she could use some female company. As much as she loves being around Bobby, she wants a chance to talk to another woman about life and other things that mattered to them. Besides, she can always see Bobby when she gets home tonight.

"I'd like that very much," Alex said with a smile on her face.

"Great! Let's go!" Carolyn squealed.

Alex grabbed her things and proceeded to walk out with the girls, not before she written a short note to Bobby, letting him know where she was and who she's with.

She didn't want him to worry. After all, he's been her everything and more.

X

**Major Case Squad**

**22****nd**** precinct**

**One Police Plaza**

**Manhattan, New York**

**November 10, 2007**

"I'm so tired. Man, can we get out of here?" Bobby asked as he and Mike walked back into the bullpen.

"The bullpen looks empty," Mike replied as he was looking around.

"Hey, have you seen Alex?" Bobby asked, looking around frantically and trying to find her.

"Not since she left. I'm sure she left a note on her desk. I know you're worried about her," Mike said as he walked over to his desk.

Bobby just nodded his head, then he found a piece of paper laying on Alex's desk. He picked it up and read it. The note said:

_Hey Bobby,_

_I went out to eat with the girls. I was waiting on you, but they invited me out and I couldn't turn them down. So, I'll see you at home later._

_Alex._

He breathed a sigh of relief and sat the piece of paper back down on her desk. He took his seat at his desk and began working on paperwork.

"So, what happened?" Mike called out to him from his desk.

"Alex went out to eat with Megan, Nola and Carolyn. I'll see her at home," Bobby responded.

"Well, now you know. How's she doing, anyway?" Mike asked.

Bobby leaned back against his chair and began to ponder. Alex had been through a lot and he was so happy to be there for her. However, a part of him wanted to kick himself because he should've saw the signs much sooner. Her eyes were pleading for help and he should've pushed much harder to help her when she needed someone. However, she's been alone pretty much all her life and ever since her husband's death, she felt like no one would come to her aide.

Now, she was in reconstructive mode. Alex was slowly beginning to heal and he's been a major part of the healing process. He also happens to be hopelessly in love with her, but now was not the time to reveal his feelings. He'll tell her when the time is right.

"It's been rough, but she's hanging in there," Bobby replied with a grim smile on his face.

"Alex's a tough woman, Bobby. She'll be okay," Mike said, giving his co-worker and friend a bright smile.

Bobby returned Mike's smile with one of his own. He knew everything was gonna be okay.

Because now Alex can know what it's like to feel free.

**Coming up in the next chapter: Bobby finally admits his feelings to Alex. Does she feel the same way? Stay tuned!**

**Please review!**


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